Only a Trillion
Let us consider a curious tale, found nestled within a collection of essays that ponder the vastness of numbers and the intricacies of the world around us. This particular piece ventures into the realm of scientific inquiry, much like Asimov himself often did, blending a keen eye for detail with a playful exploration of the unknown.
The story begins with the introduction of a most peculiar substance: thiotimoline. Right from the outset, we learn that this is no ordinary chemical compound. Its properties defy the conventional understanding of how substances interact with solvents. In fact, the very act of dissolving, a fundamental process in chemistry, takes on a reversed temporal quality for thiotimoline. It is said to dissolve in water before the water is even added.
This extraordinary claim sets the stage for a narrative that meticulously follows the scientific method, albeit applied to a decidedly unscientific phenomenon. We witness the earnest efforts of researchers to quantify this negative time of solution. They encounter difficulties, as one might expect when dealing with something that seems to bend the very laws of nature. The narrative describes the development of specialized instruments, such as the endochronometer, designed to precisely measure this pre-dissolution.
The story then delves into the meticulous investigation of factors that might influence this strange behavior. The purity of thiotimoline is deemed crucial, leading to detailed descriptions of purification processes. The relationship between the volume of solvent and the time of solution is explored, revealing unexpected plateaus in the endochronic properties. Further experiments examine the effects of different ions and their concentrations on thiotimoline's unique solubility. Through tables and figures, presented in the style of a scientific paper, the reader is drawn into this seemingly rigorous investigation.
As the narrative progresses, the implications of thiotimoline's properties begin to extend beyond the purely physical. The researchers find themselves pondering the very nature of time and causality. How can a substance react to something that has not yet occurred? This leads to a touch of philosophical speculation, characteristic of Asimov's broader intellectual curiosity.
In the second part of the story, the exploration takes an even more whimsical turn. The sensitivity of thiotimoline's endochronic interval to the mental state of the experimenter is noted. This observation paves the way for the development of willometry, a technique proposed to measure the strength of human will through its influence on thiotimoline's pre-dissolution. Mass experiments are conducted, and supposed correlations with personality traits and even gender is presented with a straight face, mimicking the often-tenuous claims made in certain areas of scientific inquiry.
The story culminates in the bizarre realm of schizophrenic willometry. Through the use of an endochronometroscope, researchers claim to observe distinct patterns in the way thiotimoline dissolves under the influence of subjects with varying schizophrenic tendencies. Horizontal, vertical, and diffuse patterns of pre-dissolution are described and categorized, leading to the creation of a seemingly elaborate system of micropsychiatric classification.
Throughout this narrative, Asimov masterfully employs the structure and language of a scientific report. The inclusion of references, figures, and tables lends an air of authenticity to the otherwise fantastical premise. However, beneath this veneer of scientific rigor lies a gentle satire of the often-unquestioned assumptions and the occasional leaps of logic that can be found within scientific discourse.
The story serves as a playful reminder that while the scientific method is a powerful tool for understanding the universe, it is ultimately a human endeavor, subject to our biases and our capacity for both profound insight and delightful absurdity. By taking a single, impossible premise and logically extrapolating its supposed consequences, Asimov crafts a narrative that is both humorous and thought-provoking, inviting the reader to consider the boundaries between the known and the imagined, and the earnestness with which we sometimes pursue the seemingly impossible. The tale builds from a simple, albeit outlandish, chemical property to a cascade of increasingly improbable scientific and pseudoscientific explorations, leading to a point where the initial absurdity is magnified through the lens of earnest, yet ultimately misguided, inquiry.
